Tis the Season to be Jolly...

Hello you Ho's, Mo's and few Hetero's, I hope your Hallow-Queen was filled with fun, laughter and lots of booze. As all Hallow's Eve comes to an end so begins the Holiday Season. As many of you know Christmas is my FAVORITE Holiday of the year. I love the smells, the colors, the food and most of all the parties. So in this post I am going to give you some sure-fire tips that will help you pull off a FAB-U-LES party no matter your budget.
The first thing you need to know is your Invite sets the scene for the event and is also your calling card. In today's society of Technology we have become numb to proper party etiquette. I will admit I am guilty of sending an Invite via Facebook and Twitter to a party, but have learned my lesson and will never do it again. Whether you are having an intimate soiree with a few close friends or a massive gathering like a wedding, a hand written and designed invite will always make someone smile. There are so many computer programs you can buy out there and many websites to download templates to use to find the appropriate invite for your party and event. Granted using a computer to send a e-vite is cheaper, but it lacks creativity, personality and is so impersonal, alas the choice is yours to make.
When it comes to design and theme that choice is solely up to you on how you want to decorate. ALWAYS, ALWAYS set your table the day before, this way all you need to do is polish the drinkware and silverware. I always like to use Chargers instead of Placemats, but again the choice is yours(*Tip-If you can't afford you pay $6 a piece for place mats, then buy two yards of fabric, some "stitch witch" and some sewing pins. Measure the fabric 19"x14" and fold over 1" of the fabric on all sides. Iron a crease into the fabric on each side then place the "stitch witch" in the crease on the under side and iron. Voila you have a cheap, unique place mat. Should be able to make 20 place settings). I always love to have fresh seasonal flowers around the house and on the tables to provide a fresh atmosphere, these can be purchased the day of the party. Take the time to make Name Cards and arrange couples across the table from one another as to mix up the group. Couples sitting next to one another tend to converse with each other, but if they are forced to converse across the table, then others can break into the conversation as well. There are many websites you can go to that will help you with ideas on place settings and design ideas. As much as I hate to say this that bitch Martha is possibly your best choice, but Rachel has cheap, inexpensive ways to do the place up as well.
Now when it comes to food things can be a little more tedious and time consuming depending on dietary needs of any of the invitees, that's why I always include a note on the R.S.V.P. Card for them to write down any special needs, this again makes the event more personal by simply taking the time to ask one question other than "Click Yes or No". If you're having a dinner party then it's best to prep a day or two ahead, you don't want to be spending the entire party in the kitchen away from your guests. Now if you can afford to hire help, then leave that work up to them, but not all of us have that kind of disposable income so we are left to do the work ourselves. Prepping the dishes the day before can save you so much time and alleviate the issue of you being in the kitchen all the time.
I always place out appetizers about a half hour before the guests are set to arrive because there is always going to be that one person who shows up early; whom I use to help me finish all the final details. Now you don't need to serve a 7 course meal, unless you want to, 3 simple courses will suffice. Depending on the time of year I will usually do a soup/salad, a fish/chicken entree and finally some sorbet/cake for dessert. NEVER EVER use pre-packaged food items unless you have no choice, take the time to use fresh ingrediants from local farmer's markets to create some fresh and fantastic local fare.
NEVER EVER have the TV on during a party, instead have some music playing in the background. If the TV is on people will tend to migrate to the Living/Family Room and not mingle, thus making your party a "clique" fest as I call it. People will break off in groups and not socialize with the others around. Some cool Jazz or Mellow House Music with a nice beat will pair great with the atmosphere of your party. Choose the music that you like, but heed my advice, NO ONE wants to eat Beef Wellington whilst listening to Black Sabbath...I'm just saying.
Some unique ideas friends and I have used in the past are listed below. Feel free to ask questions here or my Facebook page (Click the link on my home page of this blog).
*Trim-A-Tree...Great for people who just rented their 1st Apt. or moved into their new home. An empty Christmas Tree will be set up with lights and garland and EACH Guest that is invited is to bring an Ornament to place on the tree. Every year when you put up the Tree you will be taken back to the memories of that party and the people who were in your life at that time whether they are now or not. The boy-oh and I did this in 1997 and still comment on the ornaments each year when we pull them out. We got some EXTREMELY INTERESTING Ornaments, but I love them all the same!
*Progressive Potluck...3 to 4 families on the same street are need for this party to work. Each person's home will make one course. Usually appetizers at othe first house, Salad/Soup at the second one, entree's at the third and finally desserts at the fourth. You start the night off at the first house and the person who's house you are going to for the second course will dip out 15 minutes early to prepare and the same will happy at the third and fourth courses aslo. This type of party is unique and interesting because everybody's house has a different feel and vibe as well as everyone serves up different fair. This is a party I have longed to try, but living where I do it's hard to find a family on my street who wouldn't fry up some Spam and call it Goetta.
No matter what you are planning to serve or the theme you are going with I am sure it will be FAB-U-LES, but remember it is the small details that people remember and will make them talk about your party for years to come. Until the next post bitches I am signing off. Take care of one another and spit in the face of opression from the man for being who you are. Remember Love the Life you Live and Live the Life you Love!!!!

Face, Face, Face...I give beauty I give Face....

Hello you Mo's, Ho's and even those few Hetero's who read this bitches blog, this week I'm gonna talk about Skin Care and places to Pamper yourself around and about the Queen City in the upcoming harsh Winter months. I don't know about you, but there is nothing more off-putting than chapped lips and dry skin. Who in the hell is gonna "freak your freak" when your face is flaking like dandruff off of Perez Hilton's wig-piece? Nobody that's who.
Now I am all for individuality, but come on you got to take care of your face, it is your calling card you know. You don't need to go to the extremes of Botox or Plastic Surgery, unless that's your thang, but a little night cream and some moisturizer will literally lighten and brighten your over all skin, plus it makes ya look younger, and believe me when I say this I am all for looking younger, especialy since I hit 34...
My buddies at PSupplements have a product called Knockout Wrinkles Anti-Aging Serum and this stuff is ah-mah-zing, I use it that's how I know. This new state-of-the-art wrinkle reduction formula is designed to help recover from years of overexposure from harmful Ultraviolet and UVA. It is a MUST for everyone over the age of 28, so bitches click the link and order some (use code LFS11 at checkout and get Free UPS Ground Shipping on your order...tell 'em the Tipsy Queer sent ya!!!)
Now for those of you bitches who are just too damn lazy to do all the work yourself or just don't know how to use all the products in your make-up bag, then I recommend you check out Brideface 'Face-ing' Services. This bevy of beautiful and talented ladies offer classes to teach you how to properly apply a look that suits your style and face. If you're a little hesitant at trying their services then come out to the 'BrideFace Mashup, Part Two'. You can come out and meet with all the beauty experts, make appointments and receive discounts on products and services that they and their partners offer. I personally think you're a fool if you don't call them, at least that's what my friends Rachel Lisa told me to say...LOL...gotcha bitch!!!
Well this little queer is about to slap on a Collagen Mask, crack open a bottle of Moscato and soak in a tub to the slow tunes of Adele.
Remember to take care of your body and skin and they will take care of you. Until next time mother-fuqa's be safe, be real and as always be you!!!

Bringin' Sexy Back Bitches...

Hello Mo's, Ho's and you few Hetero's, this week I'm gonna talk about sex baby...
Let's face it some of us were born with a Libido to rival that of Zeus himself and others, well let's just say the 40 Year Old Virgin isn't Fiction. Keeping sex interesting is what makes it all that much better. A litte role-play is always a good way to spice it up. Honestly everytime the boy-oh puts on his over-alls and work boots it's like Christmas in my pants.
Some people need a little help with keeping it up, and there is nothing wrong with that and there are all kinds of drugs out there to help, Viagra, Extenze and many others, but nothing else will keep you going strong like Nite Rider from PSupplements. This all natural blend produced in an FDA Approved Lab will prolong performance and give you a harder, longer lasting erection without all the nasty side-effects of those other prescribed pills. Personally even the best of us need a little help sometime.
Now I know what you may be thinking, but have you really had the best sex ever? The kind that makes your toes curl, makes your girl/guy moan in ectasy, and when you blow your eyes roll back in your head? If you have, well what's your number and when are we meeting for drinks, now if you haven't then I suggest getting a little herbal help.
If pills aren't your way and you are more into toys then maybe you should check out Pure Romance by Tisa. She sells flesh lights, sex creams and many other playful and kinky things to make any bitch throw her heels in the air and scream "stick it in".
So bitches and bro's click on the links, shop around and do yourself and your sexual partner a favor and get the help you need to fuck their socks off. Until next time keep it real, keep it safe and as always mutha-fuqa's keep it freaky!!!!!

Gettin' fit wit it....

Well hello Mo's, Ho's and you few Hetero's the bitch is back. After a long needed sabbatical I have decided to shine my fab-u-les light again on the world, so hold on to your Jeggin's bitches this shit's gonna be Paramount.
With Winter fast approaching so do the inevitable "Winter Blues". We loose our ultimate Mood Ehancer Vitamin D from the lack of Sun and not being as active as we would like to be, so it may be the time to turn a little supplemental help.

If you're feeling a little down and need a shot of what I call 'liquid love' before heading out to the club in your new Jimmy Choo's, then check out the Red Dawn Vector Shot. Designed to heighten your mood and increase your sex drive...wait what's that you say, increase my sex drive, bitch this shit is already in 4th gear, but I'll take it to 5th. For all you party kids out there who love to shake what yo mama gave ya in your Diesel Jeans, then this is the product for you.

NOW for us older bitches there are all kinds of Anti-Aging Supplements out there and of the ones I have tried I prefer the au naturale kinds with HGH aka Human Growth Hormone. Paramount Supplements offer Max HgH, an all natural blend of L-group amino acids, HgH and Growth Factors specifically designed and formulated to help you look and feel all around fan-fukin-tastic. It has been shown that a decrease of HgH begins in our 30's and I know none of you bitches are younger than me, so you all need to click on the link at the top right corner of the blog and check out the Paramount-Supplements website ran by my buddy JRapp and a group of well educated and ,quite honestly hot little fuckers, and get on the fit, fun, fab-u-les train.

You may be asking, now why in the hell is the Tipsy Queer of all people talking about image when he values all body shapes and sizes. I will tell you why, we all need to be healthy. I am simply recommending you check out these products to help improve your over all attitude and well-being. Well mutha fuqua's this bitch has a Skinny-tini that is getting warm, so keep it real, keep it fierce and most of all keep it fit bitches! Til my next post take care of another and take a moment to let those you love know....

Tiki what, Tiki who....

Well hello Mo's, Ho's and you few hetero's, I hope everyone is enjoying their 4th of July. Summer time is upon us and being so close to the rIver in CincinnaTi we don't get the usual summertime fun that coastal cities do, but that hasn't stoPped us from bringing some of the best 'beach fun' to the Queen cIty.
If your thing is swimming and water parks, there is Coney Island and Coco Key's at the Beach Waterpark. If your looking for good clean family fun while sipping on a cocktail and cruising down a lazy river then Boomerang Bay at KingS IslaNd is the place to be. But if your like me and are looking for good food, awesome live music and froZen drinks with umbrella's then Pirate's Cove at the Four Season Marina is your Hang out.
Housing one of the Largest Tiki Huts this far noRth of Ft. Lauderdale the ambiance is awesome. Opening at 11 am daily (weather permitting) there are Dinner Specials for $6.99 Mon-Thurs and live music every night of the week. Located on the Four Seasons Marina off Kellog Avenue this is the Hot and hAppenIng place to be any day of the week, especiaLly before any concerts you may be attending at Riverbend or the PNC paVillion.
ONe of my favorite items is the CubAn sandwich and for $12.95 it's a steal. Color me happy with a ice cold Summer Shandy and a Cuban Sandwich listening to live music under the Tiki Hut, nothing like it anywhere else within at least 100 miles! For more information check out the link below and also look in your local REACH Magazines for coupons and special Deals. So bitches throw on your capris, a nice pair of sandals and a fierce top and get your ass down to Pirates Cove, I've got a seat saved for ya at the bar!!!!!

http://piratescovetropicalbar.com/

What't that you say?

Hello Mo's, Ho's and you few hetero's I apologize for the delay in posting, I know some of you have to be on the edge of your seats in anticipation of when it will happen again...LOL. This week I'm going to talk About Pride. Webster's dictionary defines Pride as : the quality or state of being proud: a :inordinate self-esteem : conceit/b :a reasonable or justifiable self-respect/c :delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship . This month and next all across the world Gay Pride Parades are taking place and I am proud to say so.
I am not only talking about being proud of being Gay, bUt being proud of who you are; whether that be Jewish, Catholic, Blonde, Blind or a horrible dancEr. Just be proud.
Hold faSt to who you are and don't let ANYONE tell you that you aren't right or weren't BoRn this wAy. I say fuk'eM all. Peoples insecurities of themselves is what caUses them to throW their HAte towards others. Evil is an ugly, nasty thing! I for one will be wearing my 'Tipsy Queer Hat' with Pride this coming weekend at Cincinnati's Gay Pride Festival on Fountain Square. What have you dONe lately to make you feel Proud? Keep it real, keep if FIerce and as always keep it right!!!!

Monthly Give-A-Way

Hello Mo's, Ho's and you few Hetero's I coming at ya with the rules for the 2nd Monthly give-a-way from your friendly, fierce and fashionable Tipsy Queer. Since no one answer ALL the the questions correctly last months prize will be added to this months, doubling the booty to be won. What do you need to do you ask, well sit tight, crack open a bottle of vino and take a read.

*Official Contest Rules -
1.) The winner MUST 'Like' my page on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/TheTipsyQueer/168433893213951)
2.) The winner MUST 'Follow' my Blog
(http://thetipsyqueer.blogspot.com)
3.) The contest will run for 30 Days from the Date of the "Office Rules" posted each month
4.) The winner MUST answer the "Final Question" provided in the last post made on the 30th day of the current months contest.
5.) The Winner will be announced on both Facebook and the Blog within 24 hours, in which they must private message me their address or how to get the prize to them. **Failure to do so will result in the prize going to the runner up. In the Event of NO Runner Up the prize will be added to the Give-A-Way the following month**